What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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