we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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