i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
