yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
handjob tips. give me some.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
