Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
