a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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