I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
