Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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