Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
