so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
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Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
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I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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