His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
