They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
