just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
