we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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