Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
