In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
