Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
