I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
