I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
