your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
