Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Randomize
