She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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