grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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