Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
