he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
