You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
