TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
