I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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