3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
