Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Ketchup is God's man juice
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
