Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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