You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
