nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
