Don't you send me to vm
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
