I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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