ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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