i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
