i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
