her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
