Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
