I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
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It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
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yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.