Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.