new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.