Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
