Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
