your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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