Swine flu is the new snow day.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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