Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
