So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
