Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Bring me that man meat
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
