I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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