She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
