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New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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