just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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