She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
