I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
