I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
it's great music for shaving your balls
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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