dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
