I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
