Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
His nipple licking is glorious
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