This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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