He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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