Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
