Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
And then he peed in my hair
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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